God is Victorious! Victoria's Story...

I woke up this morning to see my husband feeding a bottle to our sweet baby girl, swaddling her, and holding her so gently. Against his 6'3" frame, she appears amazingly tiny and fragile.

Yes, dear friends, God gave us a child.  Hallelujah, Praise Jesus!

Victoria Louise Moton

Born July 13, 2015

7lbs 4.8oz, 21.5 inches long

4:38pm

I have been trying to write this post for two weeks.  I have written it over and over again in my mind, desiring so deeply to carefully pen the faithfulness of my God.  It is a bit overwhelming. Every time I start to write, my eyes fill with tears of joy of the great blessing God has delivered to us.

I want to make sure I don't forget any detail, large or small, so that one day, when our daughter is ready to hear, we will be able to tell her how faithfully God worked out every detail of her coming into our home and becoming a part of our family. My prayers for her this morning is that God would give her a spirit of gentleness and peace, a great love for Him, and that she would never question how much she is loved.

God's faithfulness in the details:

Starting in June, God kept bringing to mind this verse, "He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9.  I kept asking the Lord, "Could this really be for me? Is it really You bringing this verse to mind, or am I imagining this promise to be for me?"  Somewhere in the deep recesses of my heart, I knew it was my God speaking gently to me.  I felt the time was coming when He would provide, I just still didn't know how or when.

Many months ago, you may remember the story of "the twins".  Of course, that was a fake pregnancy, but it served to get Matt and I started on a home study we would have otherwise never completed.  As soon as we got involved with that scenario, God protected us and shut it down - but He also got us to start that home study.

When our home study was completed just two short months ago, I put our names on a list at the hospital where I work indicating we would like to adopt if a birthmother happens to present requesting to place her child for adoption.  I was told by the social worker that they always present this list of names to the birthmother (and father, if he's around) but they've never had a birthmother choose a name. They always place their babies with DHR.  The reason for this is because they are not allowed to receive any information about the names on that list, and if they go to DHR, the hospital handles everything for them.  I told the social worker that day that I was sure no one would ever choose a name off the list if that is the way it's handled. She said, "Yep. That's likely true, as it's never happened."  We had no hope that it would benefit it us in any way, but we kept our names on that list.

We decided not to go through an agency because of the great expense, and asked God to bring us a baby by private adoption or naturally, or BOTH!

Three weeks ago, I was at work. At 3pm I received a phone call from the hospital social worker. "Are you still wanting to adopt?", she says.  My heart starts racing.  I'm still not sure if I calmly replied "Yes" or screamed it :) All I know is I couldn't wait to get off the phone and call Matt. I also had to call an attorney because the hospital did not know how to process a private adoption, as it's unprecedented because of the earlier details I gave you.  We had touched base with an attorney several months ago when we thought the "twins" were an option, but this time when I called him, I said, "You likely don't remember me from several months ago, but I am retaining you as our lawyer, and we have a baby." He was at the hospital within the hour getting papers signed with the birthparents.

The birthparents:
All I know is that it is a married couple, with four children already, who are overwhelmed with parenting and financially providing for their current family.   The social worker told me that they told her "they prayed throughout the pregnancy that they would be able to give this child to a couple who couldn't have children on their own."

Remember, friends, they knew nothing about us. All they saw was our names on a piece of paper. No details. No ages, no races, no work history, nothing. The social worker also told me that she initially had forgotten to give them the list of names for private adoption, and only gave them the agency list/DHR. However, when she was walking back to her office, she "remembered" that she had a list of private adoption names. Hallelujah!  God is in control.

One hour after giving the birthparents BOTH avenues, she walked back in their room and heard OUR NAMES as the chosen family.  Ya'll.  If this does not prove God is in the smallest of details, I don't know what else I can say!

The birthmother is a teacher of some sorts, and I'm not sure what the birth father does. They wanted a closed adoption, and did not want to meet us or see our sweet baby. They wanted to make sure no form of attachment was made.  I wrote the birthmother a long letter thanking her for choosing life and giving us her baby. I told her how loved this sweet precious miracle of a child would be, and for which she would be well provided.  I told her how Matt and I have been unable to have our own children, and how we've prayed for this child for three years. I spoke of God's faithfulness and unending love. I also told her we would be praying for she and her husband, as we knew how unbelievably hard this must be for them.  The social worker delivered my letter to the birthmother, and told me the birthmother started crying just upon receiving it, before she even read it.  The outside of the letter was labeled, "momma". God bless her soul.  I love her so much and I've never met her.

More of God orchestrating the details:

My mother WAS ALREADY IN TOWN, ladies!  How awesome is that?!?!  Donna told me it's like God threw us a surprise party :)  Oh, how I needed my mother that first week!

God provided SO MUCH for us even on that first night of finding out we were going to be parents.  Colleagues gave us a crib, bouncer seat. Friends brought baby clothes and crib sheets and a pack-n-play with bassinet. The ER staff somehow pulled together a fabulous impromptu baby shower at work. My mom bought us a baby monitor and crib mattress and tons of other goodies.  God provided. We had everything we needed to make a go at it :)

So, we found out about our baby one afternoon, and less than twenty-four hours later, we brought her home. Bless the Lord, o my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name!

I would also like to say this, as a dear friend brought this to my attention.  She asked, "Have you thought back to what was going on in your life/mind/heart at the time Victoria would have been conceived?  I said, "no, actually, I haven't." And she sent me this blog post I wrote during the month our sweet baby girl would have come to be:

God has reminded me that as He is sovereign over the seasons, He is sovereign over my life. 

Nothing will be withheld from me or Matt that God has intended to give us.

Not even a child.

Our hope is in Him alone. 

I have been battling unbelief this last week as the lies inside my head would have me believe that God has forgotten me, that He no longer listens to my prayers, or that He even cares. 

What I've been reminded is that I am a Good Work begun by God the day He saved me, and He will finish this work until the day of Christ's return. 

Oh, how thankful I am that Your mercies renew in the morning, Oh God!

You see, as I saw when I re-read these words of mine written just nine months prior, God had already answered my prayers long before I knew it. He was asking me to wait on Him. He is faithful. He gave us Victoria.  

Her name is to remind us that our God is victorious! Nothing is impossible with God.  And her middle name is after both of her maternal great grandmothers.  What a blessing!

Some pictures:

This is the night before the unsuspecting phone call from the social worker. My mom had just gotten into town and we took her to dinner at The Club. :)

This is the first picture taken of me and my daughter. I got to meet her the next morning after all legal paperwork was signed. I went to see her before I saw any patients that morning. I was a blubbering mess! I couldn't even stop crying for the nurse to take a picture!!

Nana meeting her first granddaughter for the first time.

I will tell you, this next picture almost didn't get taken. It was such a sweet moment that I felt really couldn't be tainted with the snapping of a camera. But I also wanted so dearly to capture it. These sleepless nights are NO JOKE. But the time I am given to snuggle with and feed my daughter are so precious and priceless to me. It is worth every minute of sleep lost. I know these days won't last, and I want to cherish every moment. 

no makeup. pure love. 

And these next pictures are just a glimpse of our recent Newborn Photo Shoot for her birth announcements :)

Oh, how I love this sweet little family of mine!  

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to Him."

1 Samuel 1:27