I know those of you who may follow my journey through infertility may be reading the title of this post with great anticipation that I'm about to finally reveal that Matt and I got pregnant - well, I have that same anticipation - but it's not true for us yet.
What
has been going on is this: ovarian cysts, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (a mild case), and continued walking in hope.
At least three months ago during our first cycle post miscarriage, our doctor upped our medications significantly and we had great follicle response. Too good actually. I developed a mild case of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) which is a complication of taking injectable medications to stimulate follicle growth (EGGS!!). It really just messed up the whole cycle, and we didn't get pregnant. But what we (I) did get were MANY ovarian cysts (on the right). Basically, these cysts crowd out the ovary and good eggs have no room to grow or develop. So, our next cycle was cancelled. The NP treating me that day told me I needed to go on birth control to help these cysts resolve. I am not a fan of birth control for many reasons, not to mention the MAIN reason as it prevents pregnancy!! I did not desire to pursue that route. I told her I just wanted to wait and give it a month and see if the cysts go down on their own. So that's what we did.
Fast forward - next cycle. The cysts on the right are gone - Praise the Lord! However, NOW I have developed a new, even larger more complex cyst on the left. (Enter large sigh). So, at this point, the NP tells me that my body is now just "so messed up" with all the medications I've been receiving, that I really need to go on birth control to regulate these hormones, or my body could just keep flip flopping these cysts month to month. (Heart drops). Ok.
My first two weeks on birth control felt like an emotional dance off between Jeckel and Hyde. Seriously. One minute, I may be crying, next laughing at...well, nothing, probably....to yelling at our dogs...or Matt. You know. Just some little birth control pills that you won't even notice. Have I mentioned that I do not like them?
Super Fast Forward - We go back for a recheck after three weeks of being on the pill (last week). The right ovary looks fantastic! The left ovarian cyst has now shrunk from 7cm to 2.5cm. YAY!! It's still too large to move forward, however. So...the plan. My doctor recommends surgery. Nope. No thank you. 2nd option - we continue to take the birth control pills for three more weeks and hope the cyst continues to shrink on it's own and just go away. I'll take option #2 please!
Although, I'm pretty sure my sweet, loving, caring, patient, and deeply sighing husband sitting next to me is not too thrilled with either option :)
So, we pray. We are asking the Lord to take these cysts away, and keep me from having to undergo surgery. I really just want to be off birth control. I apparently fall into the category of "Dannnng girl, You Craaazzzy!" while on them.
Please pray with us that God would just heal my body and open my womb. He is more than capable of doing it and much more than we could ever ask or imagine. I often think of Hannah in the bible pleading with God for a child,
and even being mistaken for being drunk while doing so....
Infertility brings a woman to her knees before her Lord. He is the giver of life. He can open this womb of mine if He so chooses. And thank you, Lord, for giving me examples of godly women in Your Word who have struggled with these same struggles, and watched You provide. Matt read to me the story of Abraham and Sarah the other night, just as a reminder that God can do whatever He pleases, and He is more than capable. I really am so thankful for a husband who loves the Lord, and seeks to push me towards Him daily.
And on that note...we're only 9 months away from being "allowed" to adopt in our state :) Yes, that's still on our minds too..
